Tuesday, 26 April 2011

77 Reasons Not To Buy a Motorbike

1) They are only good in the summer
2) You will die in a road collision
3) Cars are better
4) You can't transport a decent amount of stuff
5) You have to wear a helmet
6) They are horrible to use in the rain
7) On motorbikes you are 100% more vulnerable to cheese wire
8) They are bad to use in the cold
9) The novelty wears off
10) You can only transport up to 2 people at a time
11) You need to take a whole other set of lessons to be able to drive one legally
12) People will hate you because bikers are stereotyped as idiots
13) No cup holders
14) A lot of money
15) You can’t really listen to music without interference
16) No radio
17 you are exposed to the elements
18) You can't talk to the person on the back if there is someone on the back
19) There are more limited parking spaces
20) You'll be sent invitations to join your local biker bumming club
21) You have to wear certain clothes
22) You cannot take a caravan
23) The clothes you have to wear you then have to carry round for all the time you’ve biked somewhere
24) They are easily knocked over
25) They are loud
26) It can be stolen by someone with a van
27) You can be hijacked more easily
28) You are more likely to be killed by a meteor
29) It doesn't have the advantage a pedal bike has that you can easily move it around by hand, like carry it through non-road bits or w/e
30) You are seen as a public menace
31) The seat can get wet and isn’t covered for when it rains
32) It will take up space in your garage
33) If a wheel falls off you only have one other wheel
34) You can’t carry a spare wheel
35) You can't use a bike and a car at the same time so whenever you use one the other one will be wasted
36) You can fall off
37) Very difficult to control in the rain
38) Bikes have less hit points
39) People will hate you for overtaking them in traffic
40) It is more common to be able to find spare parts of a car in comparison to bikes
41) If someone is shooting at you, you have less protection
42) In order to buy spare parts, you'll have to interact with other bike enthusiasts who are likely to be one of the negative stereotypes mentioned above
43) You cannot put your friends in the boot
44) You can’t put people you have murdered in the boot
45) They cost money
46) You can't easily use a GPS with one, and if you can, you won't be able to hear their instructions
47) You cannot read a map on one
48) You cannot sleep in a motorbike, unlike a car
49) You cannot eat while riding a bike
50) You have to carry around a FUCKING HELMET whenever you go anywhere that you got to by motorbike
51) No air conditioning on a motorbike
52) No heating on a motorbike
53) No backrest on the seat
54) You cannot watch the back screen window wiper go back and forth on a motorbike
55) Bugs can hit you in the face and splatter on your helmet
56) Motorbikes do not have electric windows
57) You cannot put luggage, take away food etc. on the spare passenger seat as it does not exist
58) You cannot bring the shopping back
59) Not economically friendly
60) You cannot watch a DVD player
61) You need to pay for petrol
62) You have to tilt your WHOLE FUCKING BODY to turn... so much effort!
63) Wheels are better than handle bars
64) You are 5 times as likely to be cut in half by a lamppost
65) I have no idea if this is true, but motorbikes don't have ABS, enjoy skidding to your death
66) There are less exciting gadgets available for your motorbike
67) Most people have cars, so you are less likely to have someone to jumpstart you when your bike fails
68) You have to take a separate test to be able to drive one
69) Lol 69
70) If you hit an animal, you'll be more likely to fall off and/or have blood splatter on your face
71) Different rules to learn
72) Motorbike has more syllables than car, and if you just say 'bike' you have to clarify that you mean motorbike rather than pedal bike
73) The tyres need to be inflated more
74) You can't kick in the front seat on a motorbike, unless you're the driver
75) Motorbike side cars are the stupidest things ever
76) You need to buy a waterproof sheet to cover motorbike to prevent erosion
77) You can stay inside and shelter from the rain in a car, not in a motorbike